Parenting coach for toddlers, Positive parenting skills, Professional coaching fpr parents of preschoolers, Certified parenting coach, Become a better parent, Calgary

The Early Years: toDdlers & preschoolers

Congratulations! Your child is growing up and discovering a much bigger world!

These years with your young child can be a time of rich learning for both of you! They can also be a time of great challenge and considerable stress. Close study of interactions between parents and young children reveal that lesser conflicts occur once every three minutes and major conflicts erupt at the rate of three per hour. Small wonder that you may be feeling a bit stretched! Tension, fatigue, uncertainty and outright conflict can easily become your everyday companions.

Young children need our support to explore their internal and external environments and to safely find their way through the torrent of feelings that flood this stage of development.

When you give yourself some “time-in” with a parent coach from Renewed Parent, you will…

• Receive empathy for the sense of limitation and frustration that inevitably arises when living with a toddler
• Regain your parenting composure by first addressing your own unmet needs and taking steps to meet them
• Recover a focus on the various needs your child is trying to meet through his negativism, resistance and tantrums
• Become your child’s greatest ally in learning to experience and express the full range of human feelings and master the art of self-calming
• Share in your young child’s wonder and joy of curious exploration, first time discoveries and new skill mastery!

Parenting Challenges

#1: “Bedtime is a battle. My child refuses to go to bed.”
Consider this: Look after your own sleep needs so you can bring your best self to this challenge. Young children often find it very difficult to let go of the day. Creating a gently compelling bedtime routine can go a long way to facilitating the transition from day to night, activity to repose. Incorporate special bedtime-only features that your child will find irresistible like warmed PJs, a favorite story, a soothing massage, a prolonged cuddle.

If your child repeatedly gets out of bed or disrupts your own sleep, familiarize yourself with the variety of approaches for dealing with sleep challenges. Engage your creative side and fashion a sleep ‘program’ that is respectful of your child’s temperament, stage of development and your uniqueness as a family.

#2: “My daughter talks back to me when I ask her to do something.”
Consider this: Accept that transitions from one thing to another can be difficult to make willingly. At the same time, stand up for yourself and adopt a standard response, something like, “I don’t like it when someone speaks disrespectfully to me. It’s not okay. Please try again.” When you need to make a request, enter your child’s space both physically and emotionally. “You sure are enjoying those stickers. In five minutes, I am going to ask you to wash your hands and come to the dinner table. I’m going to go back to the kitchen now and set the table.” When this happens smoothly, describe how much you value her cooperation.

#3: “My daughter is two and has quite a few tantrums.”
Consider this: Develop a relaxation technique to stay calm yourself and remind yourself that tantrums are a sign of healthy development as your child practices independence. At this age, ambition outstrips ability, frustration builds and a tantrum ensues. Accept your child’s intense experience of feelings and limit her behavior. Allow the tantrum to run its course, keeping your child safe. Later, you can debrief the tantrum with your child, offer her a vocabulary to describe her feelings and assure her of your support to learn better ways. Congratulate yourself on your amazing ability to transcend tantrums!

#4: “My two children are constantly fighting with each other.”
Consider this: Pay more attention to the moments when caring and cooperation prevail and simply describe your enjoyment of these out loud. When a dispute erupts, calmly voice your concern and ensure your children’s physical safety. Express your confidence in their ability to work out a solution and remind them of your availability to assist them in this. Ask: How might I replace the perceived need to treat each child equally with the real need to love each of them uniquely?

#5: “My toddler hits her friends on playdates.”
Consider this: Supervise, supervise, supervise. And when hitting happens, intervene immediately, effectively and gently. Say something like, “No hitting. Hitting hurts.” Turn your attention to the injured child and extend a gesture of comfort and repair. Your child can help you fetch a compress or tissue and offer it to their playmate. As equilibrium is restored, help your child name the feeling that prompted the hitting. Have him sit with you to watch how to play properly for a few minutes and then send him back into play to do better.

#6: “My preschooler hates everything I serve him. He is quite the picky eater.”
Consider this: Picky eaters are often in the eye of the beholder. Take a longer view, say weekly or bi-weekly, of the quantity and quality of your child’s food intake. Expand your perception of his food preferences to include other indicators of genuine health, growth and vitality. Teach him early about Canada’s food rainbow and about the importance of having something from each food group. Allow him to make his own choices from each and involve him in the selection and preparation of snacks and meals. You cannot start this habit too young!